So home life sucks and now today at work sucked also. I blame most of it on myself because I need to open my mouth up and say do your work. I am tired of working so hard when others dont. Oh well I guess!

My man got home at 10:30pm last night and I was already in bed. Okay all I want him to do is feel miserable and I am the one doing that. So he comes over to me and cuddles up to me. Okay that is fine but I just want him to say I love you and I am sorry again that i fucked up. The chicks up at work say I am too nice. Yes but if I yell at him then he thinks its my issue and passes it off with me just being a bitch.

He called me at work and told me that he is going out to his parents house and if he wanted to know if i wanted him to wait. Now I look at it I should of said yes. We could of spent time together. But then again I want him to live a little time with out me and see what he has done. Well with all this stress I started a new diet its called not eating. I havent been hungry. I at and I am serious... One meal yesterday. Maybe I should be depressed a little more often i could lose some weight. Damn it I dont want to give in this time. I want to be strong and I want him to come running to me and kiss my feet(just an expression). I know this will never happen but I can dream cant I?

My mom called me yesterday and told me that she devil is still here. I said "No shit mom?" "She lives here with her, Here's your sign!" Its been 4 months and still here that is a strong sign that she moved in. I think my doesnt want to open up her eyes. Oh well!

I am going to take a nap!!